introduction
In a person's life, you will meet many people, and some people are just general acquaintances, and if they meet once or twice, they may never have any intersection again.
Some people are the "nobles" in our lives, who can help us in our careers and play a vital role in our lives.
Therefore, in interpersonal communication, we must clearly understand which people are worthy of deep friendship and which people are not worthy of deep friendship, just like the ancients said, close to the gentleman, far from the villain.
"Whether a person can have a deep friendship can be seen through at a glance": It is enough to see through a person and observe these three aspects
01. See if he is "true to his word" when he says and does things.
"The reason why words are words, is faith. If you don't believe what you say, how can you be a word?" - "The Biography of Gu Liang: The Twenty-second Year of the Duke of Xu"
A man of his word is not trustworthy.
The main thing to see whether a person is worthy of deep friendship is to observe whether he can do what he usually says and does.
Integrity is the foundation of interpersonal communication, and if a person does not even have basic honesty and trustworthiness, then the person is certainly not trustworthy.
In the past, when I was young, I partnered with others to start a company, but because I trusted the other party too much, many of them were verbal agreements and did not sign specific cooperation contracts, which led to the bankruptcy of the company and suffered a big loss.
It turned out that the partner he trusted very much turned out to be a person who did not keep his word. The words are good, and they keep saying that they are seeking benefits for the development of the company, but in fact, they are using the company's network resources to make more money for themselves.
So if you find that a person's words and deeds are often inconsistent, then you must be wary of such a person, and never trust a person who is not trustworthy, even if this person is very capable, if there is no integrity, then it will not go far.
02. Can you respect others and whether you have "altruistic thinking".
"Altruism" is more self-interested than self-interest, and altruism is better self-interest, and adults achieve self-interest.
We want to be respected by others, but we also need to know how to respect others. If you are able to provide value to others, you will naturally be able to achieve what you want from society.
Only when people respect each other can such relationships be healthy and sustainable.
Therefore, to observe whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, it is necessary to observe whether he knows how to respect others and whether he has altruistic thinking.
What is altruistic thinking? It is to be able to think from the perspective of others, rather than being selfish and doing anything in order to satisfy one's own selfish desires.
Kazuo Inamori once said, "Living life with altruism can enhance people's sense of accomplishment and happiness, and the final reward will come back to themselves, which is also beneficial to themselves." ”
So, altruism is essentially self-interest. The people who are willing to pay are the ones who really have a big picture, and they are worthy of deep friendship.
03. Do you have a broad mind, and will you care?
The gentleman is set in the mountains, and the villain fights at all. - Tang Dynasty Mengjiao "Autumn Huai".
The meaning of this ancient adage is that a righteous man and a gentleman are as broad-minded as mountains, and they will do things above board and above board, and they will not be careful. On the contrary, those villains are narrow-minded, often arguing over trivial things, wasting a lot of energy, and eventually ruining good popularity.
Therefore, to see whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, it depends on whether the person has a broad mind.
A person with a broad mind, in the process of getting along with friends, they often don't care too much about everything, and know how to tolerate and forbear.
Those who are too small and like to worry about small things, everyone will stay away from them and will not get too close to these people.
Because these people seem to be too shrewd and calculating, they always want to take advantage of others, but they are not willing to pay, and such people end up being bad.