#精品长文创作季 ##人物故事##大理洱海##设计师##姐弟恋#
This is the 3,574th real story we have told
I'm Cheng Hongdou, 42 years old. After graduating from university, she worked as a women's shoe designer in a listed company in Guangzhou. Fortunately, I made 10 million in financial investment as a part-time player.
I love beauty, I love dressing, and I love traveling. Two years ago, while traveling in Dali, I met a man wearing sunglasses, who enthusiastically helped me swing and invited me to dinner. Surprisingly, after only two meetings, he confessed to me.
What shocked me even more was that he was 6 years younger than me and was a military man.
How is this possible?
However, love always comes suddenly. In the relationship, I was touched by his sincerity little by little. In order to accompany him more, I decisively resigned and followed him to the Yunnan military camp.
(Brother Bing and I)
I was born in 1982 in Zhengding County, Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province, a thousand-year-old city, the hometown of Zhao Zilong in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms".
My family is in the countryside, and my parents have a small business. I have an older sister and a younger brother. I have been a good girl since I was a child, quiet and easy-going, a people-pleasing personality, and I don't offend people easily. However, I am soft on the outside and rigid on the inside, and I have my own stubbornness and persistence, which is why I have been alone in Guangzhou for more than ten years after graduating from university, and I have never flinched when I encounter difficulties.
Our family is very strict, my parents attach great importance to education, my sister and younger brother are both graduate students, and I am the only one who is an undergraduate student.
I have loved drawing since I was a child, and my father was very supportive and encouraged me to go to art high school. When I was in the third year of junior high school, there was a TV commercial promoting a four-wheeled guide book for learning squares every day, and after I told my father, he actually rode more than 20 miles and bought a set of books for 399 yuan, which was almost a month's income for my father.
I was very moved, studied hard for half a year, and was admitted to the Municipal Art High School as I wished.
After graduating from high school, I was admitted to university majoring in leather design.
In my senior year, many of my brothers and sisters who went to work in the south after graduation went back to school to recruit, and they talked about the big factories and high salaries in the south. I yearn for the coconut trees and the sea in the south, but I am afraid of the remoteness and strangeness of the south.
(I took a photo with my classmates in my senior year, and I was on the far right)
Before graduating, a Guangzhou company came to the school to recruit, and I easily passed the interview and got an internship opportunity.
After the internship in Guangzhou, I successfully became a regular designer, from the company's assistant designer, designer, chief designer, to chief designer, for more than ten years.
The company is a listed company and a first-line brand of light luxury women's shoes in China, with four brands and more than 1,000 branches, and its customer base is mainly 30 to 50 years old.
The company's corporate culture is very good, the working hours are more free, and there is not much overtime. I have a great time with my leadership colleagues and have made many good friends at work. Although some of them quit, some changed careers, and some started their own businesses, we are still as friendly as best friends in college.
For more than 10 years, I have been designing women's fashion shoes, and I am good at controlling the quality and style of women's shoes. Among the four brands, our brand benefits are the best, and the year-end bonus is also the highest, my annual salary is more than 200,000, and the year-end bonus ranges from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands.
My work has always been relatively smooth, and sometimes I encounter bottlenecks, so I keep breaking through myself and growing.
In 2011, I went abroad for the first time to Europe to do market research, and I saw that the small shops on the street were beautifully decorated, both the steps and corners were clean and comfortable. At that time, I thought, I will also open a store like this in the future, exquisite and beautiful.
(Group photo with colleagues from the company)
In 2018, I started to do financial investment, and although it is risky, it has a high yield. Fortunately, I went from only 200,000 yuan to 10 million yuan to buy a car and a house in Guangzhou.
However, there are always ups and downs in life. In October 2022, due to an oversight and carelessness, more than 3 million were wiped out in an instant. In 2023, I lost another 2 million, and in just one year, I lost more than 5 million. This huge blow made me immersed in depression for a while.
In June 2020, I invested in an art training class for a friend, they are a husband and wife, graduated from Beijing Institute of Fashion Technology, used to be designers, and now they are doing their best in education. Their educational philosophy is advanced and unique, and I have no doubt about their abilities.
The art training class currently has three campuses in Guangzhou, and I have shares in two campuses. In the past three years, the development of the epidemic has been limited, but it has been making profits in the past year.
My career has been smooth sailing, but my relationship has always been fateful. has worked hard in Guangzhou for more than ten years, and has had several boyfriends, but none of them have reached the point of talking about marriage.
Before the age of 33, I felt young and was not in a hurry to find a boyfriend to marry. I think that marriage depends on feelings, and I may not have met it for many years, and once I meet it, I am sure that it is the person who wants to get married.
Although the parents were anxious, they were not around, so they could only urge marriage during the Spring Festival.
(Business trip in Europe)
After 2018, my life took a turn for the better. Whether it is salary income or financial investment, it is all blooming and rising.
By 2019 and 2020, I earned one million a year, and began to pay attention to dressing, skin care, and fitness, and participated in various interest classes on weekends to enrich and improve myself. I firmly believe that only by constantly improving myself will I meet better people in the future.
For the other half, I want to find a Guangzhou local, who is on par with me in all aspects, self-motivated, and more importantly, has feelings for each other.
There may be many such people in Guangzhou, but my work circle is very narrow, two o'clock a day, one line every day, I participate in interest classes: fitness, yoga, playing ball, most of them are with girls, and there are few opportunities to contact the opposite sex.
I've registered with some dating sites and met some people of the opposite sex who are in good condition. However, "the wind is uncertain, people are impermanent", we in our 30s are more rational in our love treatment, talk about it if it is suitable, and break up politely if it is not suitable. Everyone is not so persistent and is not willing to put too much energy into each other.
And my personality is a passive type, always expecting myself to be the one being chased, and I won't take the initiative to pursue it when I see a good one. That's probably why I'm still single until I'm 40.
(Learning Tea Culture)
In 2022, I saw the poster of Dali Erhai Lake on the Internet: the glass hotel, the vast Erhai Lake, and the sun shining on the water, I was deeply attracted.
After the epidemic eased in August, I came to Dali Shuanglang and booked two days at a designer hotel. However, it rained until the next afternoon, and I couldn't wait to go to the small village of dancer Yang Liping's house, and met some little girls selling photo services, a set of 100 yuan.
In the photo, there is an empty swing on the Erhai Lake, the long skirt is elegant, and the water and sky are the same color, which is very beautiful.
Some of the tourists around me are in pairs, and some are playing as a family, and I am embarrassed to disturb them to take pictures of me, so I am ready to pay a photographer to take a few photos as a souvenir.
Under the guidance of the little girl, I walked up to the roof of the glass house by the Erhai Lake, and the swing hanging in the air rippled on the roof. I was scared, and the eldest sister who took the photo said, "You change a skirt and shoot again, it looks good in a skirt." ”
After several persuasions from my eldest sister, I took off my jeans and white jacket and changed into their national skirts, but I still didn't dare to go on the swing.
At this time, a man wearing sunglasses and a hat came over, he pulled the swing and said, "You sit on it and get used to it." ”
(Participate in physical etiquette training)
I thought he was a staff member in the scenic spot who helped tourists swing and take pictures, so I carefully sat on the swing.
He gently swings the swing and says, "When you're not scared, you can swing a little bolder!"
However, I was timid and afraid of heights since I was a child, and I was afraid when the swing reached the edge of the roof, and when the swing was high, my heart was beating wildly.
I said incoherently, "No, no, I'm afraid!"
At this time, a fat man came over and said, "I'll try!" and then he "rubbed" and jumped on the swing and quickly swung up, laughing as he went, "It's okay, it's okay, I can't swing out, it's very safe!" He jumped off the swing and said, "You try again." ”
The man in sunglasses grabbed the rope and said patiently, "It's really okay, you dare to try." ”
The photographer impatiently urged: "If you can't shoot, don't shoot, there are still people waiting to shoot." ”
The fear in my heart was like a storm crashing on the shore, I was afraid that if the swing swung in mid-air, I would faint, and immediately said, "Don't shoot, don't shoot!" The fat man proposed: "Or you sit on the swing, I'll take you a little video and send it to you when the time comes." ”
I thought he was a tourist with his family, so I barely managed to sit on the swing and swing it a few times. He took a few videos of me and added my contact information before leaving.
(Golf with friends)
In a blink of an eye, it was six o'clock, I changed my clothes to do nucleic acid, and just after the nucleic acid test, I saw a person on my phone with the remark "swinging" to add my friend, click on it and take a look, it turned out to be the fat man.
At the same time, another person with the note "swing to take pictures" also added me. I wondered: Does he have two numbers?
After the fat man added me, he immediately sent me a small video taken before.
I jokingly said, "This model is so ugly!", and he replied that he was from the north, and that he was visiting Dali this time, and curiously asked me about some personal information.
At this time, another number sent a message telling me that he was the man with sunglasses, named Ah Jun, and he was a comrade-in-arms with the fat man.
It dawned on me that the two of them were companions.
The fat man talked to me a lot, and he told me that he had retired from the army and had come to Dali to visit his comrade-in-arms Ah Jun, and when the two of them were eating fried chicken in the shop, they saw me passing by the window with an umbrella, sunglasses, a white jacket and jeans. Ah Jun lamented that I have a good figure, and my jeans and white jacket are also very temperamental.
Later, they were guided to the roof of the house to take pictures. Coincidentally, Ah Jun saw me standing by the swing and hesitated, not daring to swing, so he came over to help.
(Santorini Hotel Dali)
The fat comrades-in-arms feel that Ah Jun is in his 30s and doesn't have a girlfriend yet, so he just has a good impression of me, which is really a godsend. After taking the photo, he took the opportunity to add me and asked many questions, and then told Ah Jun one by one.
The fat comrade-in-arms took the high-speed train back to Kunming the next night. Ah Jun and I chatted online and learned that he was a native of Dali, worked in the army, and was now on vacation.
Because my father was a retired soldier, I had a natural sense of trust in the military, believing that they were different from strangers in society, who did not know what profession or purpose. I asked him what was fun and delicious in Dali?
And Ah Jun heard that I ran so far to play alone, and I thought it was incredible. Because he went to the army after graduating from university, he has been in the army for more than ten years, has never been to other provinces, and rarely travels. He thinks I'm very independent and brave when I travel alone.
After I finished playing in Shuanglang, I went to another mid-level hotel in Erhai Lake, Ideal Bang and Santorini, and booked another two nights. Unexpectedly, the hotel is very close to Ah Jun's house.
Jun had been on vacation for more than 20 days, and he was bored and close to home, so he invited me to a shopping mall in the city for lunch.
Ah Jun is not my type at all, the boyfriend I asked for was at least one meter seven or eight, and I never thought of finding someone from such a remote place as Yunnan and Sichuan. I thought that if I knew a local who was in the army, I could consult him about the food and beauty of Dali.
(First time to go to my husband's army in 2023)
At the same time, considering that he was serving in the army, we were eating in a shopping mall, and there were many people around, it should be safe to socialize with him.
In addition, I have been traveling for three or four days, no one helps me to take pictures during the day, I go to the restaurant to eat hot pot, and I can't finish ordering the smallest fish, and from time to time there will be a sense of loneliness in my heart, just thinking that there is someone to eat with, and it is good to chat.
At noon the next day, we had dinner at a lively mall. Ah Jun's eyebrows are like mountains, his eyes are like stars, he is very enthusiastic and talkative, and his eyebrows are dancing when he talks about his life in the army.
After dinner, the weather forecast was that there was a typhoon in Guangzhou, and I originally planned to stay two nights and go to the airport, but because of the typhoon, I had to postpone it for two days. Because Ah Jun invited me to dinner, I was going to invite him back to dinner to show my gratitude. He happily agreed: "See you tomorrow!"
We met again the next day, and I paid directly after the meal.
Jun has been in the army since graduating from university, and he knows relatively few girls, so he has a good impression of me and wants to invite me to dinner. Who knows, I quickly invited him back to dinner and paid directly.
This made him think that I was generous, confident, and not a person who took advantage of small advantages, and when he heard that my father had also worked in the army before, he thought that my family, education, and character were very good.
Soon, Ah Jun sent me a message expressing his love for me.
(Lights out)
However, I think that he was born in 88 and is only 34 years old, and I am several years older than him and cannot fall in love.
But Ah Jun said: "It doesn't matter if you're older, sister and brother love is popular now!"
Jun's house was very close to the airport, and the next day he took me to the airport, and he almost cried when he parted.
After I returned to Guangzhou, he sent me messages every day, confessing his lovesickness and admiration.
Soon, Ah Jun received a notice from the troops, asking him to go directly from Dali to Henan to lead the troops in a few days. So he had a few more days off, and he happily told me that he was coming to Guangzhou to find me.
I am very conflicted, on the one hand, I feel that Yunnan and Guangzhou are too far away and it is unrealistic to communicate, on the other hand, I have a good impression of him, and none of the people I come into contact with care about me like him and are dedicated to me.
I refused to allow him to come to Guangzhou to find me, and I couldn't bear to let him feel uncomfortable, so I told him that we should understand each other and think about it again.
He had dinner with his friends and classmates, and when he drank too much, he called me and sent me a video, saying that he was very troubled and missed me.
There are many excellent men in big cities, and when they meet someone they like for the first time, they may devote themselves wholeheartedly, but after talking about a few, they will know how to make trade-offs, talk about what they like, and go their separate ways if they don't like it, and they will not be so attentive to people and so persistent.
(23 New Year's Day and my husband in Erhai, Dali)
Since we met, Jun has insisted on sending me messages, phone calls, and videos. Although there are many uncertainties and challenges between us, I am touched by his sincerity and perseverance.
After all, it is indeed not easy to meet someone who is dead set on being good to me, and I am willing to give him a chance and give myself a chance.
In October, I lost some money, my mood fell into a low point, and I was a little depressed.
One day, I suddenly received a call from Ah Jun: he had arrived at the Guangzhou airport.
It turned out that he was worried about me, so he actually asked for leave to come to Guangzhou!
After meeting, his first words were: "Money doesn't matter, as long as people are there, everything is fine." He even firmly said that if I had any accidents, he would never look for them again in this life. I said sadly, "I lost a lot of money, and now I don't have much money." ”
"It doesn't matter, I'm interested in you. "He solemnly proposed to me, insisting that he had always wanted to marry me since he met me.
I was hesitant and didn't want to make a hasty decision, thinking that flash marriage was irresponsible, and that marriage still had to wait.
However, Ah Jun misunderstood me and felt that I didn't love him and didn't want to marry him, so he was very angry. We were caught in a brief cold war and squabbles.
However, a few days later, the thoughts brought us closer together, and we shared each other's joys and troubles on video every day, which was even more inseparable.
(Lovers eventually become married)
With Jun's comfort, I slowly came out of the shadow of losing money. I persuaded myself: compared to many people, I am still lucky, I don't have a heavy mortgage, car loan, everything I lost can start over.
During the Spring Festival of 2023, my parents and younger brother arrived in Beijing, and Ah Jun took a vacation to visit them in Beijing. My parents were full of praise for him, saying that he was responsible, responsible, and the best place for me.
In September, I went to Jun's house. His parents were very kind, warm to me, respected his choice, did not have any prejudice against me, and thought that the sibling relationship was very good. I feel at ease and at ease with them.
It was inconvenient for Ah Jun to ask for leave in the army, so in order to have more opportunities for the two to meet, I resigned soon after.
Many people in the company feel sorry, thinking that I have been in the company for more than ten years and have good performance, why should I resign?
However, I think that I have been doing women's shoe design for many years, accumulated rich experience and qualifications, and at the age of 40, I am eager to pursue my dreams, create my own design brand, establish a unique positioning and style, and become a dark horse that stands out in the women's shoe industry.
(Bai wedding photo)
In addition, I have been under a lot of pressure after so many years of fast-paced life in a big city, and I want to change to a new environment.
Ah Jun's family is in Dali, where I can open a café or a homestay, grow flowers, cultivate grass, and live the life of my dreams.
On 1 October, I visited Ah Jun's unit, the county seat of Yunnan Yao Autonomous Prefecture. I was warmly received by the leadership of the troops.
Ah Jun was dressed in a military uniform and strode with a sunny smile on his face. He hugged me with a look of surprise and warmth in his eyes.
Ah Jun took me to visit their camp, the neat team, the loud singing, and the simple life showed the rigor and purity of the soldiers everywhere.
Later, Ah Jun took me to the border they guarded, which was only a few dozen meters away from Vietnam. The weather was hot and humid, mosquitoes were buzzing, and the warriors stood straight with their eyes not blinking.
It's humid and hot all year round, and they've been sticking to it as soldiers. I feel that they are very bitter, I admire Ah Jun's choice and dedication, and I cherish this relationship even more.
In January this year, we had a romantic wedding in Dali.
(Wedding in Dali)
I met true love at the age of 40 and tied the knot at the age of 42, I think it is mainly due to the fact that I have had military feelings since I was a child, and I have an inexplicable good impression of soldiers, which allows me to meet, meet and fall in love with Ah Jun in the vast sea of people.
In the relationship, Ah Jun's single-mindedness, responsibility, and sense of responsibility touched me again and again.
And my parents' recognition and praise for him made me determined to "choose a city to grow old and be white-headed with one person".
After getting married, Ah Jun returned to the Dali army, and I was in Guangzhou to prepare to create my own brand. Although we were separated, our nightly video calls became our most precious moments.
I prefer children, and I've been trying to get pregnant recently.
I remember when I first met, I told Jun that I was a few years older than him. But he held my hand tightly and said, "Even if you are 10 years older, it is no problem, even if you can't have children in the future, you won't regret being together." ”
I was deeply touched by his importance and tolerance, and I was determined to join him for the rest of my life.
From Guangzhou to Dali, from Han to Bai. Now I am full of satisfaction and anticipation for life. I do design and wear, I also like to travel, I like to share my life on the Internet, and I hope to bring some confidence and encouragement to those older single sisters who are also older.
I know that there are many sisters who want to get rid of their singles, who have also wandered in confusion and confusion like me, and are under pressure from society and family.
(Holding the hand of the son, growing old with the son)
But I want to say that love knows no age, and what really matters is to love yourself well, "Loving yourself is the beginning of all romance." ”
Most of the interactions between people "start with appearance and end with character". Just like my husband and I, it was first that he had a good impression of my appearance, and then he wanted to contact me further and get to know me, so we had this marriage.
When you are single, enjoy life and be kind to yourself. Only when you become a better version of yourself can you attract better people. Once you meet the right person, you must cherish fate and be brave to love.
Don't be afraid to die alone, and don't hesitate in a bad relationship. For those romances that confuse you, give up decisively. Because sometimes, because we are unwilling or reluctant, we fall deeper and deeper into the wrong relationship, waste our youth, and miss the person who is really suitable.
"The best remembrance of the past is to run away from it. ”
The wounds that have been suffered will be healed, and those who have hated will be relieved. It is only when we give up the wrong love and love ourselves well that good love flashes around the corner.
When life is colorful, the lover you meet may become your true destiny, and when you are in a bad state, a good marriage will pass by.
Love yourself and work hard to improve yourself. When you are radiant and beautiful blooming, Eros will meet unexpectedly.
(Welcome to follow the protagonist account "Cheng Hongdou")
[Dictation: Cheng Hongdou]
[Editor: Empty Mountain Arbor]
We can't experience different lives, but we can feel different life trajectories here, every photo here is a bit @真实人物采访of life, every story is a real life, if you also like it, please click to follow!
(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）