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My name is Lin Xuemei, and I am a hard-working woman. My husband died early, leaving me alone with my young daughter Xiaoyan. Life is tight, but Xiaoyan is sensible and well-behaved, and she is my only spiritual support.
In the year of Xiaoyan's college entrance examination, she was admitted to a key university in the provincial capital. I was both happy and worried, happy that she was out of the picture, worried that she was getting farther and farther away from me.
After Xiaoyan went to college, I often called her, but she always said that she was busy and rarely had time to chat with me. I feel lost, but I also understand, after all, she has grown up and has her own life.
After graduating from college, Xiaoyan found a good job and had a boyfriend. I've heard her mention it a few times, but I've never seen it. I was a little anxious and wanted her to bring her boyfriend back to show me, but she always shied away.
Until one day, Xiaoyan suddenly called me and said that she was getting married. I was both surprised and relieved, and hurriedly asked her about her boyfriend. But Xiaoyan swallowed and vomited, only saying that he was an honest person. I was vaguely uneasy, but I blessed her anyway.
After Xiaoyan got married, I was looking forward to her coming home often. But she always uses the excuse that she is busy with work, and she rarely comes back once a year. I called her, and she either didn't answer or didn't have time.
I feel more and more lost in my heart, and my longing is growing day by day. I started texting and calling her frequently, but she was always perfunctory. I even ran to her door to see her, but she told me to go back, saying she didn't want me to see her now.
My heart was like a knife, and I couldn't understand why Xiaoyan had become like this. I raised her for more than ten years and poured all my love into it, but now she is so indifferent to me. Am I doing something wrong?
I was seriously ill and lying on the hospital bed, but I was still worried about Xiaoyan. How I wished I could see her on her deathbed, but she never returned.
Aunt Zhang, my neighbor, often comes to see me. She told me that Xiaoyan had a bad time at her mother-in-law's house and was often harassed by her mother-in-law. I was distressed when I heard it, but there was nothing I could do.
Until one day, Aunt Zhang told me that Xiaoyan had come back and stood at the door for a long time, but she never came in. My heart ached and I struggled to get out of bed to find her, but Aunt Zhang stopped me.
"She's not worthy! she's not worthy to be your daughter!" Aunt Zhang said angrily.
"Why? Why doesn't she deserve it?" I asked weakly.
"Because she wasn't born to you!" Aunt Zhang revealed a shocking secret.
"What? Xiaoyan wasn't born to me?" I was stunned, like a bolt from the blue.
"Yes, she is the child born to your husband after raping her mother. Aunt Zhang said heavily.
My mind went blank and I couldn't accept this brutal truth. Xiaoyan was raised by me, and I regarded her as my own, but she was actually the product of my husband's rape.
"No way! this can't be!" I shouted.
"It's true, Xiaoyan told me herself. Aunt Zhang said with certainty.
I sat down on the bed, tears welling up in my eyes. I hate my husband, I hate him for ruining my life, and I also ruined Xiaoyan's life.
"Why didn't Xiaoyan tell me?" I asked, crying.
She said that she was afraid that she would not be able to stand it and would abandon her when she knew the truth. Aunt Zhang sighed.
I have mixed feelings in my heart, including anger, grief, and understanding of Xiaoyan. She has suffered injustice since she was a child, but she has always held back to protect me.
"Where is she now?" I asked eagerly.
She left, saying she never wanted to come back. Aunt Zhang said.
I struggled to get out of bed to find Xiaoyan, but Aunt Zhang stopped me.
"It's useless for you to go to her, she won't see you. Aunt Zhang persuaded.
I cried in despair, how I wanted to hug Xiaoyan and tell her that I would always love her, whether she was my biological daughter or an adopted daughter.
But Xiaoyan ruthlessly abandoned me, the person who gave her the grace of life and nurturing. I hate her, but I pity her.
I was getting sicker and sicker, and before I died, my greatest wish was to see Xiaoyan. But this wish did not come true.
I passed away with regret, and before I died, I left a small house to Xiaoyan. It was saved by my frugality, and it was my last love for her.
I left, but I couldn't let go of my concern for Xiaoyan. How I wish she was doing well and that she could find her own happiness.
Xiaoyan, if you see this letter one day, please forgive me. It's me who I'm sorry for you, it's me who didn't protect you. But please believe that I will always love you, you are my daughter, the daughter I love most in my life.
Xiaoyan, my daughter,
Knowing that you are not doing well, my heart is like a knife. You have been sensible and well-behaved since you were a child, and I raised you single-handedly, and I treat you as my own. But now, you are suffering in your mother-in-law's house, but I can't do anything, I'm really useless as a mother!
On my deathbed, I left you a small house. That's what I've saved by frugality, and it's my last love for you. I know, this may not be a big deal to you, but that's a piece of my mother's heart, and I hope you take it.
Xiaoyan, my mother knows that you hate me, hate me for bringing you into this world and making you suffer. But your mother is also a victim! Your father raped your mother, but I kept you in the dark and treated you as my own daughter.
I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your mother. In my life, I have lived a confused life, and I have lived a wretched life. I cannot make amends for the damage done to you, but I can only ask for your forgiveness.
Xiaoyan, my mother knows that you are a kind child. You have been considerate of me since I was a child and took care of me. Even if you hate me, you never say a word of gravity.
My mother's greatest wish before she died was that you could live well. I want you to stay away from the person who is not good to you and find someone who truly loves you.
Xiaoyan, my mother is gone, but my mother's love for you will never disappear. You are my favorite daughter in this life, no matter where you are, my mother will silently bless you.
Mother is gone, you must take good care of yourself. Don't let your mother worry, and don't let your mother down.
Mother loves you, my daughter.
Xiaoyan read her mother's letter and burst into tears. She finally understood her mother's distress and her mother's love for her.
She hated her mother and complained about her mother, but her mother's letter before her death made her feel relieved.
The mother is a victim, and she is also a victim. They are all playmakers of fate, and they are all unfortunate women.
Xiaoyan decided to let go of her hatred and live her life well. She wants to take her mother's blessing and her mother's love for her and go on strongly.
She quit her job and left the place that made her sad. She returned to the small house where her mother lived before her death and started a new life.
She used the money left by her mother to open a small shop. Although the business is light, it is enough for her to support herself.
In her spare time, she volunteers at nursing homes to take care of the elderly. She also sponsors underprivileged students, hoping that they can change their destiny through knowledge, just like her.
Xiaoyan's life is plain and fulfilling, and she has found meaning in life. She is no longer the cowardly and inferior girl, but has become a strong and independent woman.
She knew that her mother's spirit in the sky must be happy for her.
Xiaoyan's small shop business is getting better and better, and she has become a well-known enthusiast in the town. The poor students she sponsored were also admitted to universities and often came back to see her.
Xiaoyan's life is full and meaningful, but she always has a regret in her heart, that is, she did not find her biological father.
She knew that her biological father was the man who raped her mother back then. She hated him and wanted to know who he really was.
One day, Xiaoyan was busy working in the store when an old man in plain clothes suddenly came in. The old man had gray hair and a wrinkled face, and he looked kind.
"Little girl, do you have hot water here?" asked the old man.
"Yes, wait a minute. Xiaoyan hurriedly went to boil water.
The old man took the hot water handed over by Xiaoyan, took a sip, and then sighed.
"Little girl, you really look like an old friend of mine. The old man said.
Xiaoyan's heart moved and asked, "Do you know my mother?"
"No, I don't know your mother. The old man shook his head, "I know your grandmother." ”
Xiaoyan was stunned, she didn't expect that she would be able to find her grandmother.
"What's my grandmother's name?" asked Xiaoyan eagerly.
"Her name is Li Xiulan. The old man said.
Xiaoyan suddenly burst into tears, Li Xiulan was her grandmother's name.
"Are you my grandfather?" asked Xiaoyan in a trembling voice.
The old man nodded and said, "I am your grandfather, and my name is Li Guoqiang." ”
Xiaoyan couldn't control her emotions anymore, and threw herself into her grandfather's arms and cried bitterly.
Li Guoqiang gently patted Xiaoyan's back and comforted: "Child, I've hurt you." ”
Xiaoyan cried for a long time before she gradually calmed down. She helped her grandfather sit down and poured him a cup of hot water.
Li Guoqiang told Xiaoyan that when he went out to work, his wife Li Xiulan was defiled by bullies at home. After Li Xiulan gave birth to Xiaoyan, she took her to remarry in other places.
Li Guoqiang didn't know that he had a granddaughter until some time ago, when he learned the news of Xiaoyan from his hometown.
He found Xiaoyan's shop and met this granddaughter who looked exactly like his daughter.
When Xiaoyan learned of her background, she had mixed feelings. She hated the brute who raped her mother, but she also thanked her grandparents for giving her life.
She decided not to hold the beast responsible, but to be filial to her grandparents.
Xiaoyan took her grandfather to live in her shop and took good care of him. She cooks delicious meals for her grandfather every day and chats with him to relieve boredom.
Li Guoqiang, accompanied by Xiaoyan, spent the last period of his life. Before dying, he took Xiaoyan's hand and said, "Child, grandpa is sorry for you for failing to protect your mother." ”
Xiaoyan burst into tears and said, "Grandpa, don't say that, you've done your best." ”
Li Guoqiang swallowed his last breath and passed away peacefully.
After Xiaoyan finished the funeral for the foreigner, she brought his ashes back to her mother's grave. She knelt in front of her mother's grave and scattered her grandfather's ashes on her mother's grave.
"Mother, grandpa has come to see you. Xiaoyan muttered to herself.
Xiaoyan sat in front of her mother's grave for a long time, and she seemed to see her mother and grandfather smiling at her.
She knew that her mother and grandfather must be happy for her in the heavenly spirits. She finally found her loved ones and found her roots.
Xiaoyan stood up, wiped away her tears, and turned to leave her mother's grave. She knows that her life will continue, and she will go on with the blessings of her mother and grandfather.