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My name is Li Hua, I am 35 years old and I have been married for 10 years. My marriage was like a pool of stagnant water, uneventful and passionless.
I live a two-point life every day, taking care of my family, and going to work to earn money. I've long forgotten the laughing and noisy version of myself.
Until that day, I ran into Wang Ming, a college classmate. Wang Ming is still handsome, funny and humorous, and his smile makes my heart move.
"Li Hua, long time no see. Wang Ming's voice brought back my thoughts.
"Wang Ming, it's really you. "I was a little excited, and my eyes were evasive.
"I haven't seen you for so many years, and you're still so beautiful. Wang Ming looked at me affectionately.
We talked for a long time, as if we wanted to make up for all the missing time. I found myself attracted to him, a long-lost heartbeat.
In the days that followed, we started dating in secret. Every time I go on a date, I have a thrill and excitement of cheating.
"Li Hua, you are so beautiful. Wang Ming hugged me into his arms, his eyes were foggy.
"Wang Ming, I ......" I wanted to speak and stopped, feeling guilty and happy in my heart.
I was caught up in the whirlpool of extramarital affairs. I enjoyed the stolen pleasure while feeling uneasy about my betrayal.
I started to get restless and often lost my mind. My husband noticed my abnormality, but he didn't say anything.
Until that day, he suddenly took out a divorce agreement.
"Li Hua, I already know about you. He asked me angrily.
"Right...... I'm sorry. "I sat down on the floor and burst into tears.
My marriage was ruined by my betrayal.
"Why? Why did you betray me?" my husband asked me hysterically.
"I'm sorry, I ......" I couldn't stop crying, unable to explain my actions.
"You're sorry for me, you're sorry for our children!" he roared, slamming the divorce papers on the ground.
In desperation, I picked up the agreement with the terms of division of our common property. I used to think that these were the fruits of our joint efforts, but now they are witnesses to the breakdown of our marriage.
"I will leave the house cleanly, and the child will be yours. "I signed my name, and my hands were shaking.
At that moment, it was as if I had lost the whole world. I abandoned my family, betrayed my husband, and hurt my children.
After the divorce, I moved to a rental house by myself. Looking at the empty room, I felt lonely and helpless like never before.
I began to look back on my cheating experience and reflect on my marital problems. I found out that I was cheating because I ignored my husband's needs and my own inner feelings.
I was so desperate to be loved, to be noticed, and those needs were not met in my marriage. Wang Ming just made up for my emptiness and allowed me to regain my long-lost passion.
However, extramarital affairs are not seen in the light after all. The excitement and pleasure it brings are no match for the torment of betrayal and guilt.
I sat alone by the window, letting my thoughts wander. I realized that marriage is not a bondage, but a journey for two people to grow together. If one party ignores the other person's feelings, there will be a rift in the marriage.
I also understand that cheating is not the solution to marital problems. It will only bring more harm and suffering.
I decided to start my life anew and say goodbye to the past. I have to learn to love myself and to cherish the people around me.
I started looking for a job and taking various interest classes to make myself more fulfilled and independent. I also tried to let go of my obsession with Wang Ming and concentrate on managing my own life.
Although the wounds of the past cannot be erased, I believe that time will heal everything. I still have a future, and I still have hope.
Time flies, and five years have passed in the blink of an eye. I have long since walked out of that unbearable past and found my happiness again.
I met a man who loved me like my life, who embraced my past and cherished our present. We started a new family and had a lovely daughter.
I never contacted Wang Ming again, and I no longer wallow in the pain of the past. I learned to let go and learned to be grateful.
I am grateful for the failed marriage that allowed me to see myself clearly and also for growing me into a stronger, more independent woman.
Today, I stand at a new beginning in my life, full of hope and longing. I firmly believe that the future will be even better.
Looking back, I can't help but feel a lot of emotion. Derailment is a point of no return. The excitement and joy it brings are fleeting, but the pain and regret left behind are a lifetime burden.
Marriage needs to be managed, and it requires the joint efforts and dedication of two people. If one party ignores the other person's feelings, there will be a rift in the marriage.
Cheating is not a solution to marital problems, it only brings more harm and pain. If something goes wrong in your marriage, you should face and communicate with it bravely instead of running away and betraying.
I also understand that everyone has the right to pursue happiness. But happiness is not built on the pain of others. cheating, hurting three people, or even more.
I hope my story serves as a cautionary tale for those who are going through marital difficulties. Cheating, instead of solving the problem, will only make things worse.
Cherish the people in front of you and manage your marriage well. Happiness is not something that comes easily, but needs to be created and maintained by two people.
As time went on, I gradually let go of that unbearable past. I understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's important to learn from them and move on.
I forgave myself, and I forgave my ex-husband and Wang Ming. I understand their anger and pain, but I also know that they are just as much victims as I am.
I learned to let go of hatred and choose forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting, but letting go of the resentment in the heart and allowing oneself to be freed.
I'm starting to be grateful for my life now. I have a husband who loves me, a lovely daughter, and family and friends who care about me. I cherish every day and strive to make the people around me happy.
I'm also passionate about helping people who are as lost as I was. I used my own experience to tell them that cheating is not a solution to the problem, and only by facing and communicating bravely can we find true happiness.
My life is like a book, the page of the past has been turned, and now it's time to start a new chapter.
I cut off my waist-length hair and replaced it with a neat short haircut. I put on a neat professional outfit and walked into the workplace with confidence.
With my own hard work and experience, I quickly gained a firm foothold in the company. I have proved with practical actions that even a woman who has made mistakes in the past can live her life to the fullest.
My life has taken on a new look, and I have found a new purpose and direction. I will continue to work hard to be a useful person to society, a good mother to my daughter, and a good wife to my husband.
I firmly believe that the future will be even better.