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Gibran said in "The Sand and the Foam": "Forgetting is a form of freedom." ”
In this life, people will encounter many things that are beyond their control, and it is inevitable that there will be moments of powerlessness.
If you are always obsessed with the struggle and blindly compete, you will only end up making yourself more and more tired.
Since everything can't go as expected, it's better to choose relief than to be unwilling.
In the adult world, learning to forget is practice, and knowing how to forget is wisdom.
Forget about hatred, just take revenge
In ancient Greek mythology, a story was recorded.
One day, Hercules Hercules was blocked by a bag on the road.
He kicked it, but he didn't expect the bag to move, and his foot hurt instead.
Angry and angry, he picked up the big stick with the thick mouth of the bowl and threw it at the bag.
As a result, the harder you smash it, the more the bag swells up, expands exponentially, and finally blocks the road.
Then a philosopher came, and he said to Hercules: This is a bag of hatred.
The more you fight it, the bigger it gets.
If you ignore it and toss it aside, it won't cause you more harm and hinder.
In reality, "hateful bags" are everywhere, and when you encounter harm, you always retaliate back, and eventually you will be dragged into the abyss.
Oscar Wilde once said, "If you can't let go of hatred, you will let thorns crawl all over your heart." ”
Learning to forget the hurt and let others go is actually to let go of yourself.
Former South African President Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years, where he was tortured and abused.
Years later, Mandela was released and successfully elected president of South Africa.
At the inauguration, he invited three jailers who had abused him as guests and paid tribute to them.
This move shocked everyone present.
Seeing everyone's surprise and incomprehension, Mandela said:
"When I walked out of my cell and through the prison gates to freedom, I knew that if I didn't leave my grief and resentment behind, I was still in prison. ”
In the face of persecution, Mandela chose to tolerate and let go, devoted himself to his own cause, and eventually became the "father of the nation of South Africa".
Bacon said in "Revenge" that if a person is obsessed with revenge, his wounds will always be renewed.
Forgetting hatred is not a cowardly admission of defeat, but a timely withdrawal from the pain.
Life is very expensive, and you don't have to carry the burden of pain and resentment all the time, and you don't have to consume yourself for unworthy people and things.
Every time you look back, it is a drag on the present, and every step you take forward is the best fulfillment of yourself.
Learn to turn over the damage, clear the hatred, and live a good life in the moment while moving lightly.
Source: Visual China
Forget about gains and losses, just forget about it
Yishu once said in the book that there are gains and losses, which is life, and you must avoid being angry.
Life cannot be left to people everywhere, and gains and losses are difficult to measure.
Some people are too concerned about temporary gains and losses, and as a result, they are burdened by interests and troubles.
Hemingway said, "As long as you don't care about gains and losses, there is nothing in life that cannot be overcome." ”
Many times, if you don't care about losing, you will gain more.
In 1971, the young Simon Rattle entered the Royal Academy of Music in London to study conducting.
At that time, the college had a referral place that allowed a student to enter the Birmingham Symphony Orchestra directly after graduation.
The Birmingham Symphony Orchestra is one of the most famous orchestras in the UK. For any student, being able to get into it means embarking on a promising path.
In that class, Rattle and his classmate Edward, both of whom consistently topped their grades.
Not surprisingly, this place will be created between the two.
Edward also regarded Rattle as his biggest opponent, and he fought against Rattle everywhere and slandered him behind his back.
Unexpectedly, Rattle not only ignored the provocation, but also took the initiative to announce that he would give up the competition for the spot.
In the end, this qualification fell to Edward.
Friends were puzzled and said that Rattle gave up this opportunity and lost too much.
Rattle said unconcernedly, my level is still far behind, and I want to learn more.
After that, he joined a small orchestra, starting as a conductor assistant at the bottom, constantly polishing his basic skills and accumulating experience.
Over the years, he slowly rose to prominence and eventually became the world's leading principal conductor of the Berliner Philharmoniker.
Years later, in a speech, Rattle said of his own experience, don't take the successes and failures in front of you too seriously, they will blind you, learn to ignore them, and your world will be bigger.
I agree with the saying: what can torment you is nothing more than what you care about, and what can bother you is nothing more than what you care.
Life is a journey of gaining and losing.
The more you take many things, the more you put a stone in your backpack, the more you accumulate, the heavier it gets, and it will eventually crush you.
Forget about the gains and losses of those interests, and be able to see the problem clearly and know what is most important.
Enlarge the pattern, open your mind, and the road ahead will suddenly open up.
Source: Visual China
Forget the obsession and just force it
In the book "Van Gogh's Biography", the story of Van Gogh and another painter, Gauguin, is recorded.
When Van Gogh was 35 years old, he met Gauguin.
The two admired each other and soon became friends, and even lived together in the small town of Arles for a time, creating together.
Later, due to different painting concepts, the two began to have conflicts, and a few months later Gauguin left the town alone.
Van Gogh was extremely puzzled by the departure of his friend and found it difficult to accept.
He sent several letters in succession, apologizing to Gauguin and hoping that the two would get back together.
However, a long time passed, and there was no response from Gauguin.
Van Gogh did not give up, he tried to go to Paris to find Gauguin, but was also ruthlessly refused.
In the following years, because he was always haunted by Gauguin's departure, he often suffered from insomnia at night, and even did not think about tea and dinner, which eventually led to mental disorders.
In the "Narrative of Consciousness-Only", it says: "There are many kinds of afflictions and obstacles, and if you don't cling to me, there will be no afflictions, and then self-grasping will be the root and all kinds of afflictions will arise." ”
People get along with people, many disputes are painful, and tracing back to the source, in fact, it is just the word obsession.
A distant relationship, trying hard to keep it, can only bring trouble to each other.
Learning to let go in time is the fulfillment of each other.
In a certain episode of "Thirteen Invitations", Xu Zhiyuan asked Luo Xiang: Are you still in touch with friends who used to have a good relationship?
Luo Xiang was silent for a moment and said, basically gone.
Xu Zhiyuan also said with feeling, it's a pity, won't you take the initiative to contact them?
Luo Xiang shook his head and replied that each other's situation was different, so it was better to go with the flow.
As the saying goes, getting together is fate, and fate is not forced.
Life is a journey of constant farewell, and we always have to get used to gathering and dispersing.
If you are obsessed with a relationship, you will inevitably be depressed and drag yourself down.
The twisted melon is not sweet, goodbye, it is better to cherish each other, and apart, it is better to smile and bless.
Forget about obsessions, be less demanding, and be more casual, which is the greatest kindness to yourself.
Source: Visual China
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Ji Xianlin said in "Life at Ease":
"If you can't forget, or if you don't have the instinct to forget, then the pain will always be fresh and vivid, and it will torment you as cruelly as it did at the beginning. ”
Life is not easy, for those things that cannot be controlled, instead of embarrassing yourself, it is better to choose to let go.
Don't care about the grievances and grievances in the past, and learn to look at the differences in life.
Let go of gains and losses, do not cling to or entangle, and say goodbye to yesterday calmly, in order to live a good life in the present.
Encourage your friends.
Source: Reader
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